You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
