All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
