help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
