Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
