The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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