hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
