I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
