just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
