do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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