i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
