people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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