You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
