think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
