I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
COCAINE IS GR8
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize