mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize