i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
