I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize