Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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