great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
