Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
