Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
