By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
