Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize