a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
