Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
