I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
