in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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