It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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