Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just had sex on a roof
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize