The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
