Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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