Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
