Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
