Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
