Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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