Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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