Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
