You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
