is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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