My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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