We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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