I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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