Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
