i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
