did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
wow bdsm is so cute
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize