I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
