The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
