But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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