a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
