sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize