My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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