I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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