No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize