At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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