Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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