I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
