He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
