You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
