Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So apparently I’m into choking now
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