I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize