Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
