pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize