end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
