i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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