Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
