Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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