I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
