White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
