i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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