woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
