I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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