i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize