White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
