I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
