i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize