yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
