Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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